The best way to end an argument isn’t with an “I’m sorry” — it’s with a hot hookup. But a new study says that your make-up sex is actually a way of avoiding the problem by getting physical… and it makes the brain react the same way as doing a line of cocaine. In his blog on Psychology Today, Seth Meyers (who, sadly, is not hot Seth Meyers from Saturday Night Live) says that some people like make-up sex so much that they will pick fights just for an excuse to bone.
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“Because these individuals get sick of feeling the negative extreme end of the spectrum, they hunger to switch gears and jump to the opposite end of the spectrum — to feel the high that comes with making up. Honestly, it’s not that different from an addict who needs a hit of cocaine,” wrote Meyers, who has clearly never listened to Ke$ha’s song “Your Love Is My Drug.” He says that people often mistake drama — the extreme highs and lows – for real intimacy. (Those of us who have known somebody who deliberately caused trouble in their relationship because they thought that complacency couldn’t possibly equal love will understand this concept.) So how do you make sure that you, like a Bachelor contestant, are here for the right reasons?
“When you find someone you truly belong with, you feel balanced because you think things are in the emotional order they are supposed to be in. The next time you have a fight with your partner and you later try to initiate make-up sex, sit with those feelings a little longer and make sure you are having sex for the right reason,” advises Meyers. Frankly, we have come across very few wrong reasons to have sex, but whatevs. And being addicted to your partner is the best kind of addiction you can have. Except for a chocolate addiction.
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