Your Library’s Copy of ‘Fifty Shades of Gray’ Is Covered in Herpes

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Fifty Shades

Belgian scientists recently subjected the ten most borrowed books at the Antwerp library to a toxicology screening. Their findings, in short: library books are disgusting.

Not only did all ten contain trace amounts of cocaine – not enough to get you high, though possibly enough to register on a drug test – but Fifty Shades of Grey, crowning achievement of the Western mom-rotica canon, tested positive for the herpes virus.

It’s time to get a Kindle.

[h/t Time]

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