Sex

12 Insane Moments from ‘Orgasm Wars,’ Japan’s NSFW-ish Blowjob Game Show

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We already knew Japan was the global leader in female masturbation bars, Megaburgerpizzas and virtual handjob reality, but now they’ve outdone us in oral sex-based game shows, too. On each episode of Orgasm Wars, a gay man tries his hardest to make a straight male porn star come against his will.

The competition lasts forty minutes in a storage warehouse, with the fellatio itself taking place inside a box that’s a cross between a glory hole and an old-timey camera with a blanket to cover the photographer (there’s no actual nudity on the show). In this installment, Sawai is reluctantly pleasured by the shlumpy Takuya. The narrator informs us that Takuya – who “walks with the charisma of a leading lady” – boasts a “100 percent success rate” in getting men off.

This ten-minute clip is clearly scripted (like, The Hills scripted) but that doesn’t make it any less insanely entertaining. Here are 12 Orgasm Wars moments that made us laugh loud enough to alarm our coworkers.

1:04 – It needs to be said that the narrator is the true star of this television program. “[The blowjob] begins with an exchange of business cards,” he explains.

2:12 – TAKUYA: “I will definitely make you come!” SAWAI: “I am definitely not going to come!” TAKUYA: “I will definitely… swallow.”

2:40 – Three gay male university students are on the set to watch. They respectfully bow to Takuya and Sawai.

2:54 – Before the competition starts, Takuya requests a mysterious fluid called isodine. He gargles and spits, “showing what an expert he is with his mouth.”

3:51 – After inspecting Sawai’s penis, Takuya confidently remarks to the assembled onlookers, “This shape of cock is the shape that I can make come.”

5:15 – It’s unclear if this is allowed, but Takuya reaches out of the box to touch Sawai’s nipple.

5:35 – NARRATOR: “A different suckling noise is coming from the box. Is that coming from a person?”

5:46 – Takuya pauses. “There’s a hair…”

6:03 – Once Sawai admits that he’s gotten hard, Takuya ramps things up with “a move [he calls] ‘High Speed Vacuum.’” The sounds he’s now producing are straight-up crazy, like a little kid desperately slurping up the last half-millimeter of his milkshake.

6:54 – NARRATOR: “And now Takuya is fondling both of his nipples.”

7:15 – It’s extremely warm inside the box, so Takuya stops to remove his shirt. He is wearing a bra. This is probably the least unusual thing that’s happened on Orgasm Wars so far.

7:48 – With only ten minutes left in the competition, Takuya debuts a “final secret technique” – the “Throat Hold.”

Who will win this epic battle of wills and willies? Watch Orgasm Wars yourself to find out. Seriously, watch it.

[h/t The Frisky]

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