Sex

12 Steps To Having A Great One-Night Stand

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1. You’ve been eye-fucking that person at the bar/house party/your cousin’s basketball themed bat-mitzvah for three hours already. Now is the time to go for it.

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2. If you’re nervous, a drop of liquid courage never hurt, but take ‘er easy.

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3. Be sure to give them a little taste of what they’re in for.

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4. Show them you have rhythm, sexually or otherwise.

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5. If they live outside a 5-mile radius from you, go to your place. (That hungover 8am ride back from Hoboken will not be pretty.)

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6. Carry a condom with you, as well as some extra make-up and a contact case.

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7. Once at their place, make yourself comfortable.

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8. During sex get as freaky as you want. Like Starina in The Bird Cage, this is your show.

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9. The next morning don’t feel like you have to cuddle with them or have morning sex if you’re not feelin’ it.

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10. Unless they’re crazy/sexy/cool, avoid breakfast and any awkward post-hookup “get-to-know-you” talk that may entail.

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11. Don’t over-sentimentalize your evening with them. Take it for what it was: a (hopefully) fun night.

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12. And remember:

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