According to a recent study, one in three single people would give up sex for a year before they would forgo their favorite food. OK, I can kind of understand that. Salted dark chocolate! But here’s the really depressing part. While many of the 4,000 singles polled mentioned steak or chocolate (I concur) as a foods worth sacrificing sex for, there were a slew of sad ass singles who said they would give up sex for SALAD. SALAD. I said SALAD. Unacceptable. Salad is great and all. It’s healthy and satisfying and I eat it almost every day for lunch. But even the most delicious salad in the history of the world does not trump humping. I conducted my own informal poll of ladies here at The Frisky office. After the jump, the things we would actually choose over a year of sex. Hint: NOT SALAD.
1. An endless supply of salted dark chocolate kept cold in my fridge and fed to me by a naked man.
2. The chance to travel around the world for a year and stay in 5-star hotels.
3. A personal masseuse and chef. Preferably hot and male.
4. A baby panda that stays a baby foreeeever.
5. A private beach with Ryan Gosling/Michael Fassbender/Joseph Gordon Levitt as cabana boy. Even if I couldn’t have sex with him, I could look at him.
6. The ability to eat mac n’ cheese with bacon every day and not get chubby.
7. Never getting my period again, but still having the ability to get pregnant.
8. Immortality for all pets.
9. A penthouse apartment with a grand piano, overlooking Central Park.
10. An all expenses paid year in Paris to eat crepes, shop, look at art and work on my book.
11. One billion dollars un-taxed.
12. A beachfront home on Martha’s Vineyard.
13. A backyard pool filled with sea turtles.
14. Long, flowing mermaid hair.
15. Karl Lagerfeld’s cat, Choupette.
16. Free anything I want from Barney’s, Madewell and Net-A-Porter.
17. The magical ability to know everything there is to know about being a pastry chef without going to culinary school.
This post originally appeared on The Frisky