Sex

6 Ways To Have Mindblowing Sex (Without Having Intercourse)

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It’s important to remember, whether you’re in a committed relationship, or you’re casually involved with multiple people, all heterosexual sex does not have to lead to vaginal intercourse.

Plus: How to Have the ‘Define the Relationship’ Talk—Minus the Awkwardness

There are many ways to have mind-blowing sex without putting a P in a V. Here are 6.

1. Say “I’m not going to have sex with you.” Out loud.

Say this when you’re making out and things are just starting to heat up. Grab their face, look them right in the eye and tell them that you’re not going to have sex with them. Then don’t slow down at all.

Plus: And the Single Most Confusing Text From a Man Is…

What’s implied here is that “everything else” is on the table. Like some wondrous Dionysian buffet.

Related: What Your Favorite Sex Position REALLY Says About You

2. Use your hands

It’s amazing what you can do when you commit to just using your hands. Because hand and finger work are generally considered foreplay, we don’t often explore the vast range of what our hands alone can do. Namely, we can get a lot more specific about placement, pressure and speed than we can with intercourse or oral.

It makes sense, right? We wouldn’t use our junk to open a tricky lock or use our mouths to play Jenga. When a task requires subtlety, grace and attention, we use our hands.

Related: 5 Easy Ways To Be Better At Sex

3. A touch of fantasy

You don’t necessarily even have to dress up as anything (I mean, I’m not going to stop you…), but a little hint of fantasy can imbue non-penetrative sex with all the intensity of “going all the way.”

For example, try planning a “professional” massage complete with oils, hot towels, new age music, etc. You can even make the guy or girl wait in the living room with a magazine until the bedroom is ready. Once you’ve sufficiently oiled them up, worked out all the kinks and ushered your partner into a state of deep relaxation — surprise them with a “happy ending” (yes, this works on women, too). The fact that they’re already super-stimulated combined with just a taste of the taboo is likely to send them right over the edge.

Related: The 10 Types of Non-Casual Sex

4. Going down

The first step to giving good head is to get over the idea that you’re doing somebody a favor. If you don’t really want to do it, it’s going be a bummer for everybody. The second hump to get over, as with using your hands, is the idea that oral is something you do just to get your partner ready for intercourse.

Once you get down with oral sex for its own sake, it can be as emotional and intense for both parties as “actual” sex.

Related: Please Don’t Make Fun of Your Virgin Friends

5. Do it in public

It’s way easier to pull off non-penetrative sex in public than it is to secretly have full-on intercourse. In a car, a movie theater, under a thoroughly clothed table — you’re not likely to get caught if you can keep the noise to a minimum. Let’s face it. You’ve had some forgettable intercourse in your life, but you’ll always remember that time you received oral on a Ferris wheel.

Related: The 5 Rules of Taxicab Sex Etiquette

6. The element of surprise

Sex that’s unexpected, but welcome, is always hot sex, whether intercourse is involved or not. Go down on her while she’s watching “House.” Put your hand down his pants while he’s making coffee in the morning. You’ll probably find that these surprise encounters will make your average end-of-the-night, in-a-bed sex that much hotter, too.

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