Sex

Sexual Pet Peeve: You Can Leave Your Hat On… But Not Your Socks.

Pin it

Okay, ladies and gents, let’s talk sexual pet peeves. Mine is… socks on during sex. Ew. No. Gross. Why?

I understand that sometimes, in the rush of the moment, not every article of clothing gets removed. Sometimes, only the bare essentials get unzipped. This is fine! But if you have time to fully remove every other item of clothing from your body, you probably have time to take off your socks. You don’t even need your hands to do this! You can slip them off with your feet while your hands roam elsewhere!

This is purely an aesthetic thing. Something about socks with nothing else makes a person look, not alluringly nude, but rather stark naked. Socks put the absence of other clothing into sharp relief. Socks make you seem like you’re waiting to be weighed at the Doctor’s office or something. There’s a reason Michelangelo didn’t sculpt tube socks onto The David.

Apparently there’s a term for this blight: Party Socks, which Urban Dictionary says are usually a result of “laziness or haste.” It’s my opinion that being too lazy to take off your socks does not bode well for the rest of the sexual encounter.

Now, other items of clothing left strategically on during sex can be either kitschy, or alluring, or both. A bra on, for instance, especially if it’s a nice bra, are sometimes a nice break from the topless routine (and usually super flattering). Accessories like a bowtie, a toolbelt, or a hat can be sexy in a playful, funny way. And you don’t have to be a festishist to appreciate the allure of intercourse while wearing strappy high heels.

But not socks, people.
There is nothing sexy about socks.

Do you agree that socks are the least sexy thing in the world? If not, what’s your sexual pet peeve? Let us know in the comments!

chiara_header