Sex

2 Percent of People Prefer Jogging to Sex, Are Clearly Wrong

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Jogger

Your two favorite things are food, which contains calories, and sex, which burns calories. With you, personally, in mind, researchers at the University of Quebec recently set out to test the value of sexercise eXXXercise sexorcisms sex as exercise. Unsurprisingly, they found that almost everyone would rather have sex than exercise. Almost everyone.

Twenty-one heterosexual couples volunteered to take part in the study, which required them to jog on treadmills for 30 minutes and have sex at least once a week for a month – all while wearing armbands that measured their energy expenditure. Though researchers found that sex qualifies as “moderate exercise,” it’s markedly less strenuous than jogging. The average sex session, including foreplay, lasts 25 minutes. It burns four calories per minute for men, and three per minute for women. Jogging burns nine calories a minute for men and seven for women. (Interesting sexercise fact: the risk of cardiac arrest during intercourse is very low in all circumstances, but marginally higher when the encounter is extramarital.)

98 percent of participants reported that sex, if not quite as a good a workout, was nevertheless more enjoyable than jogging. That number sounds perfectly reasonable until you realize that 2 percent disagreed. Considering the study enlisted only 42 individuals – which, by the way, means this is far from a universally applicable statistic – the magic of math tells us that exactly one person expressed this opinion.

It’s you, this one person, I’m speaking to now. Something is wrong here. Perhaps you misunderstood the scientists when they asked about “sex.” Maybe you heard “sects,” or “doing your taxes.” But assuming that’s not the case, you might consider seeing other people. Sex is great (or at worst, pretty good), jogging is terrible (or at best, only okay).

Image via Veer

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