Glamour posted a very enlightening slideshow today written by Deadspin’s AJ Daulerio. Did you know some men stand in front of space heaters before taking their clothes off? Now you do.
Men also worry about foot odor and whether they’ve “pruned their hedges.” Apparently.
So what do women think? Mainly “Alriiiiiight!” But also, a few other things.
We don’t think ALL these things, EVERY time we have sex. But these are definitely things that run through our heads before having sex with someone for the first time. Until we, you know, get swept up in things….
1. What will my number be after this and do I care?
Mostly, we don’t care, and I’ve never known a girl to STOP a hookup for fear of what her number will be. But it DOES occur to us!
2. Should I shower, or, uhm, freshen up?
Again, not as big of a deal for guys, but since women are, you know, anatomically different, this is a major concern. Will a quick trip to the bathroom kill the mood, will we be too anxious if we don’t? (Note: THIS “Ask A Dude” post from The Hairpin did NOT alleviate any anxiety in this matter)
3. Am I going to get pregnant?
Did we take the pill this morning? Is the condom on right? Did we take EVERY POSSIBLE MEASURE TO AVOID HAVING THIS GUY’S CHILD IN NINE MONTHS?
4. How do I look right now?
We hope we look sexy! We want to look sexy. We imagine ourselves looking a bit Brigitte Bardot-esque when we arch our backs, so we do it a lot. Is it working? No, no! Don’t look at the stomach–look up.
5. Is my stomach going to grumble?
Because if it does, it’s not the end of the world but it’s also not really sexy and I’d just rather that didn’t happen.
6. What underwear am I wearing right now?
Every girl has a pair or two that she really, really, doesn’t want to be wearing during a hook-up.
7. My jaw aches.
We’re not gonna really explain this one. Just, trust us: every girl has thought this at one time or another.
8. Is my room messy?
Should I turn over the picture of my Grandma, is my stuffed animal/cat shocked by what is going on, did he notice the jar of Vicks Vapo rub I unsexily left on my nightstand?
9. Am I going to regret this?
The answer to this question should always be “no! no! of course not, or you wouldn’t be doing it!” But sometimes, we still have to ask ourselves, just in case.
10. Please be good, please be good, please be good.
Women, like men, want to have an enjoyable time! It’s a bummer when it doesn’t really work out, especially if we like the guy.