How ‘Pornified’ Is Your Sex Life?by Matilda Camden on July 18, 2013
For a century, toned men in tight shorts sprinted towards a high horizontal bar, and scissor jumped it. Then one October day in 1968, a young man named Dick Fosbury raced towards that bar, and dived over it backwards. He broke an Olympic record, and revolutionized the sport.
The “Fosbury Flop” has very little to do with internet porn, which is the subject of this column. But it does illustrate a principle of human behavior: When you watch something done in a certain way over and over for hours and hours over years and years, it affects the way you can even think of doing that thing. Only a demigod like Dick Fosbury can break the mold.
Clearing a seven foot high jump isn’t identical to intercourse, and scissoring only makes an appearance in the darkest underbelly of internet porn. This analogy also has nothing to do with Dick Fosbury’s obvious tremendous prowess as a lover. It’s merely to say that the dizzying volume of internet porn that our generation has consumed has definitely influenced our sexual technique.
It’s almost impossible to figure out how exactly, since there are no longer any young men who haven’t watched porn, and studies need control groups. But from plentiful anecdotes and a smattering of science, there seem to be a handful of clear ways our sex has become pornified:
Nowhere in the Kama Sutra or the erotic Moche pottery of north Peru does a man release his love seed onto his partner’s face. As keenly reported by Hugo Schwyzer last year, ejaculating onto body parts became popular during the safe sex frenzy of the AIDS crisis, and facials were a handy porn contrivance: you could see the girl’s gleeful expression in the same frame.
Schwyzer argues that the erotic logic of the facial is really one of acceptance. A lot of guys think their semen is kind of gross, but if another person is willing to have it on his/her face, s/he must think it’s the opposite of gross, and validation is a hot-awesome thing. At the same time, some people do find it gross, but do it anyway ’cause all the kids are doing it, and sex pressure is neither hot nor awesome.
Putting On a Show
A lot of straight porn follows the same formula: a girl goes down on a guy for a while, then he penetrates her, and then she instantaneously starts wailing in ecstasy.
Internet porn didn’t invent the illogically operatic female (harmonizing with the eerily silent man). Women, it seems, like most female primates, have always and everywhere been louder during sex. And they’re usually the loudest not when they’re coming, but when the man is, indicating that it’s always been more about turning the guy on anyway. But the squeals that have filtered through some of my hotel walls have a theatrical flavor that seems particularly indebted to the quivering babysitter and lusty delivery boy.
Straight Anal Sex
Today, more straight Americans between the ages of 25 and 44 have had anal sex than can name a single Supreme Court Justice. John Roberts-ing has skyrocketed in popularity, perhaps partly because so-called “gay” things have shaken a lot of their stigma, but also definitely because the internet is obsessed.
For some people, doing the Alito rocks their world. For a lot, it really really hurts. Particularly if you Kagan in the quick and dirty porn way, and not in the gradual, gentle, highly-lubricated human anatomy way. Some feel pressured into it, in a manner that prioritizes man pleasure and smacks of conquest. However you feel, you can thank porn for making Scalia “the fifth base.”
Big dicks aren’t a technique as such, but “ramming you with my enormous throbbing cock” is. Our ancient Greek ancestors preferred penises petite, and the vagina is also finite: a four-inch penis will fill it completely. The 76,000 members of the small penis online support group Measurection can thank porn’s penchant for monster-member domination, at least in part, for their woes.
Not Knowing How Women Work
Fourteen-year-old boys have never known how women work, but 14-year-old boys (and girls) today are actively schooled in how women don’t work. While many women may enjoy watching the aforementioned facials and jackhammer anal poundings, in-person they might find these things really frightening. Porn is also 99% by men for men (although those demos are changing at a gallop). It’s mainly about men liking these things, and the women squeal along ecstatically, because men like watching that too.
The rise of porn, unfortunately, has not brought with it a rise in female pleasure, which seriously lags behind that of the average male bedmate. Internet porn has freed people to explore their fantasies and shattered stupid taboos. But for all its anarchy, it’s also created new normals. And because everyone is now weened on it from tweenhood, it’s made it all the harder to Fosbury Flop your way into a new, inspired soft sand pit of satisfaction.
Whatever happened to Dick Fosbury anyway? Given the topic of this article, you might think that he never managed to replicate his Olympic triumph, and ended up doing 70s low-budget porn. Or that high on his success, he attempted ever-extremer techniques that left him, one day, tragically and improbably impaled on the cross bar. But that is false. Dick Fosbury became a successful engineer and entrepreneur, and spends his free time spreading world peace.
More like this:
- The History of Sex on Film
- The Science Behind Pillow Talk: Why Post-Sex Chats Boost Intimacy
- Can an Amazing Ex-Lover Ruin You for Future Sex?