Manhattan Sex Shop Plans to Serve Food, to the Delight of Absolutely No One

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If you’ve ever set foot inside a sex shop, you know that the wide array of erotic lingerie, toys, and videos on display can be overwhelming – exactly the kind of overwhelming that makes you think, “Man, I could really go for a sandwich right now,” right? No? Me neither.

But Splash Sexy Boutique is betting on stronger stomachs than ours. The Chelsea adult store will relaunch in early 2014 with a café and bar on the premises. Horn-gry yet?

I am pro-sex shops. I am pro-cafés. But I am firmly against part-sex shops, part-cafés. I don’t even like eating on public transportation, or when strangers look too long at my food. Germs, you guys. Germs.

The restaurant is set to open in mid-December, and the staff hopes to obtain a liquor license by January. Splash will operate 24 hours a day, for all your late-night part-sex shop, part-café needs. As the manager proudly told the Daily News, “There’s nothing like it in the country.”

Nope. Nothing even close.

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