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Study Finds Women Have Twice as Many Diets as Lovers

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Woman making goofy face eating salad

A new survey has found that, on average, a woman sleeps with eight sexual partners and embarks on 16 diets over the course of her lifetime. In the words of not one, but two great Americans: “Chocolate! Chocolate! Chocolate! Ack!

Ladies? Ladies. By all means, get your health right, but don’t forget to get your (proverbial) dick wet, too. According to the study, the average diet lasts one month, and a quarter of dieters don’t make it a full week. Sure, eating thoughtfully – for, ahem, however briefly – is great, but weight loss and lovemaking need not be mutually exclusive. In fact, sex totally counts as exercise. Why not kill two horny, svelte birds with one stone?