I was having one of those days where I was just sitting around my apartment the other day thinking about how much I wanted to have sex with a pirate, when I sort of had an epiphany — it might not be as glamorous as I’m imagining!
Smelling just like him really seals the deal, doesn’t it?
Those abs! You could play ‘em like a xylophone.
Do these things on a date, and you’ll ensure you’ll never get into her pants. Ever.
A variation on the classic “This old thing?” shtick, it says “let’sdo this,” in a manner that is clear but not embarrassingly explicit.