Read These Wonderful, Terrible Date Stories

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Remember yesterday, when we said that it’s fun being single because you always have funny stories about your dating life?

We weren’t kidding…

Check out these hilarious “Bad Date” tweets:

“[He asked] ‘If we were abducted by Iraqis and they were going to cut off my hands or my feet which would you pick?’.. whilst in bed.” –@LollyLethal

“On my last date the guy had a pet WOODEN giraffe who had his own Fbook page. His name was Sebastian. (The giraffe).” –@Cazzahickey

Guy came to get me in his new Porsche. Before I got in, he put a towel on my seat because “girls can sometimes be sweaty down there”- @Themoviegoer

“I went on a date with a man who took my used napkin at the end of the meal in case he needed it later.” –@TheLawlerTweet

“Whilst on a date with my friend, the guy had a phone call and said ‘about 7’ then pretended it was the ppl he’d interviewed that day.” –@Existentialyes

“My mate had a date with a man who did oil paintings. Which would have been OK, but they were ALL of the cast of ‘The OC’.” –@RedSkyAtNight

“I dated a proto-Goth who spent the entire meal asking me to describe dead people and how peaceful they looked (I was a cop then)” –@stevyncolgan

“Had date, no chemistry, didn’t call her. Years later saw her on TV makeover show, saying sadly she’d only been on 1 date in her life” –@leighblue

“went on date with guy who said ‘seeing as I’m paying’ . . . ‘we won’t have starters and we’ll drink tap water.’ –@rachelparkin

“I went on a date once with a woman who showed me 25 photos she’d taken of Sylvia Plath’s grave as a conversation opener.” –@DaveBryant23

“i am living proof, after one date, that the line “i can’t see you any more, i’m becoming a priest” is still in modern use.” –@ell_c_emm

Oh there are more, many more. Read them here.

[via The Hairpin]