Advice

The 5 Worst First Text Messages You Could Send To Someone You Just Met

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Look at you, playa, you just scored a number! But now what do you do? Do you call, do you text? How long do you have to wait? And what do you SAY?!

Whatever your feelings are on calling vs. texting and time delay, there’s one thing we can agree on for sure: What you say when you do make contact matters immensely. Basically, it’s a whole new first impression.

So let’s look at some texts that should be avoided at all costs:

Related: 4 Things to Never Talk About on a First Date

1. “hey” or anything that involves “hey”, or any synonym of “hey”. Very impressed that you know how to type a three-letter word and hit send, but this is the hands-down most annoying text a person can send. Guys are most guilty of it, let’s not pretend here, and this is why it’s such a lame text: It’s deliberately shifting the burden of Having Something Interesting To Say to the other person. You’re putting the lifeblood of any connection you may have in that person’s lap, and saying, “Here, you do it.” Pathetic.

2. “hi this is _____ from Dutch Kills. so now u have my #.” This may seem like an improvement over #1, but it’s really not. At best you come across as dull, so unsure of your memorability that you have to remind the person who you are and how you met, and at worst you sound conceited, as in, “I’m so benevolent, I’m letting YOU have MY number.” Women must hate that, because it’s like, “Dude, you asked for my number. Are you going to do anything about it, or are you just going to keep relishing the fact that the number-swap happened and made your Friday night slightly less depressing?”

3. “how are you?” First of all, who gives a shit? The person receiving this doesn’t care that you’re wondering about how they’re doing, because you only just met! Also, you’re committing the same sin of Dullness as above. You’ll get one obligatory response, and that’s probably it, because you haven’t shown yourself to have anything interesting to say.

Related: What to Do When Someone You Like Friends You on Facebook

4. “guess who this is.” People actually do this! Man, there is such a fine distinction between mysterious and creepy. Guessing games can be fun and cute and flirty, but if it’s your first text to someone who may or may not swap numbers with multiple people in a given week, you run the risk not only of creepiness, but of getting an answer you really don’t want.

5. “omg the funniest thing just happened. my heel broke.” If you’re reaching for an excuse to text someone, it’ll usually be pretty obvious to the recipient. If a guy gets this from a woman, he’s going to do the obligatory reply, you’ll expound in your follow-up and swear it was uncommonly hilarious, and that’ll be the end of the conversation. Flatline. So don’t force it!

Now what do you send instead of these? Find out here.

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