Advice

5 Great First Text Messages To Send After You Get Someone’s Number

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So in my last post we looked at 5 texts you should avoid sending to someone you just met. But what should you send? It can be tricky to make the transition from talking in a bar to sending messages, while still keeping whatever connection you may have had alive long enough to get to that first date.

For this reason, I’m actually a huge fan of texting the person that same night, so it’s more a continuation of the conversation you were having when said phone numbers were swapped, while your great personality is still fresh in his/her mind.

But what exactly should that text say? Here are 5 ideas:

1. The Jokey Text: Try something obviously absurd like “wait did you pickpocket me? my wallet’s gone,” or something that similarly starts a conversation without announcing that you’re going to start a conversation.


Related: 6 Bits of Information That Should Never Be Relayed Via Text Message

2. The Conversation Continuation: A great way to smoothly keep your convo going is to refer to it directly in your text, like “ok just read (that article you’d been talking about). We need to discuss.”

3. The Forward Flirt: Maybe you want to take things up a notch? Go with something suggestive but unambiguous, like “It’s too bad you had to leave, we didn’t have time to make out.”

Related: The Pitfalls of Group Texting: 4 Things to Know Before You Hit Send

4. The Random Question: This is a riskier one, but sometimes you just plain can’t think of anything to SAY. You’re drawing a blank on what the two of you actually talked about at the bar (you did have those three G&T’s, so who could blame you?), so you might need to initiate a brand new conversation. Instead of sending a standard greeting, try something out of the blue, like the thought just popped into your head and you HAD to text the person. Maybe: “i totally forgot to ask, and this is really important: do. you like. Bio-Dome?”

5. The Direct-to-Date: If you were able to chat with the person for a while before trading numbers and parting ways, you want to be careful not to dither too much with silly conversation before actually asking the person out (flirty texts with no action in sight become unattractive rather quickly). So consider making that first text, “Very much enjoyed our conversation, and I’d love to continue it. How’s Thursday?”

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