Advice

Can’t Get A Date? You Can.

Pin it

Admittedly, I’m 5 years late on the bandwagon here, but last night while perusing Netflix Instant I came across the best show ever: Can’t Get A Date.

The show, which first aired on VH1 and Logo in 2006, takes a different person who claims they can’t get a date each episode, and then proves that, actually, yes, they can. Because as tough as it is for discouraged daters to believe: everybody can get a date.

There are no dramatic makeovers or overwrought pick-up strategies: for the most part, the subjects of each episode are merely given slight, confidence-boosting tweaks. It sounds like a cliche to say that confidence is everything when it comes to dating, but this show really proved that it’s almost that simple. The moment the daters were given a slight confidence boost, they relaxed, they stood straighter, they became more attractive.

The first episode I watched was focused on Marc, a gay guy who’d never had a boyfriend.

“I’m profoundly confused as to why I can’t get a date in this town.” Marc proclaimed, but after ten minutes of watching, the answer was clear: here was a self-loathing, insecure guy who was unable to make small-talk.

The show therefore sent him to meet an improv instructor (which elicited an eye-roll from me as I sat watching on my couch…) who led Marc through a game in which he had to have a fake conversation in which every sentence had to start with a different letter of the alphabet. Marc was concentrating so hard on starting the sentence with a letter that he wasn’t as focused or worried about what he was saying — which meant that the conversation, ironically, flowed naturally and easily.

The show also arranged for Marc to have some professional pictures taken for his dating profile. For Marc, the pictures were transformative, but here’s the secret: for the casual viewer (aka me, on my couch), the Marc in the pictures really didn’t look all that different than the Marc on the screen. But the simple act of taking them let Marc see himself in a whole new light.

The tagline of the show is “Can’t get a date? You can!” and as a dating blogger, it made me want to hug the screen. I talk to so many discouraged people who are stuck stubbornly believing than love can’t happen to them — or that they need to greatly change their appearance or personality to find a date. But more often than not it’s a matter of overhauling your attitude and tweaking your approach.

So, a very belated “congratulations” to “Can’t Get A Date” for being a dating show that really gets it. And the next time you’re feeling insecure about your ability to snag a date, do yourself a favor and watch a few episodes. They’re on Netflix Instant and on the Logo website.


Marc, on the date that yes, he did get.

chiara_header