Ah, fall. The weather outside is delightfully crispy and refreshing. When you walk outdoors, leaves crunch below your boots. The world is full of fresh notebooks and new days (not to mention autumn boyfriends and girlfriends).
And you’re spending it inside watching television.
Which is A-OK — as long as you’re watching the right television. Don’t sift through countless TV Guides trying to decide if you’re watching something that will impress your suitor (besides, do those even exist any more? TV Guide, not the suitors) — just consult this handy list of the 10 shows to casually drop in first date conversation (and the 10 shows to delete from quickly delete from your DVR and never every mention that you watch to anyone you want to sleep, ever).
The 10 To Watch (and Casually Drop in Conversation):
1. The Walking Dead — Dudes love zombies and chicks who love zombies.
2. Up All Night — Watching this show says “I’m dedicated to the career of Will Arnett.” A person like that should be commended even if their dedication is misguided.
3. Dance Moms — OK, stay with me for a second. This seems like it should be on the other list, but whoever watches this show understands at the very least how not to raise children. Good life partner material right there. At the very most they understand that Abby Lee Miller is the greatest character yet discovered by reality television.
4. Enlighted — People who have HBO are fancy.
5. Homeland — People who have Showtime and are interested in neo-political thrillers are fancy and smart.
6. Person of Interest — Says, “I was smart enough to follow Lost all those years, and I’m not so jaded that I won’t give TV another try.”
7. Terra Nova — Shows your date that you never stopped thinking Jurassic Park is the greatest movie ever made and that Steven Speilberg is our generation’s best storyteller (Also that you might be Dawson from Dawson’s Creek).
8. Breaking Bad — Lets them know what you’re interested in slow-burning character development (sexy) or scientific pointers on making meth (also sexy!).
9. Bored to Death — Anyone who watches this show is a winner. Ted Danson!
10. Game of Thrones — Who cares if it makes you look like a nerd — it’s a good show.
And the shows to never admit to watching. . .
1. Revenge — The title alone doesn’t instill hope in how you might behave if things go poorly.
2. The Playboy Club/Pan Am — No one wants to date someone who would be interested in Mad Men light. Why date a methadone addict when you could just date a heroin addict? (Also, Playboy Club was so bad it was cancelled, so there’s that.)
3. The Vampire Diaries — Don’t tell anyone you watch anything on the CW, just don’t.
4. The Heart of Dixie — What did I just say?!
5. The X Factor — Watching this show says you secretly think you are an amazing singer or that Simon Cowell is attractive. Either answer is wrong! Also, you are sponsored by Coca-Cola.
6. Whitney — What sort of a monster are you?
7. American Horror Story — You seem interesting and full of promise, but it’s only going to last for a season. Two, tops.
8. Dancing With the Stars — Move this to the other list if you are dating people in a nursing home.
9. Boardwalk Empire — People who have HBO are fancy, but people who haven’t figured out that this show is pretty, but vapid and ridiculous are a little dumb.
10. Game of Thrones — Nerd.
Agree? Disagree? What would you add? Tell us in the comments.