You know “Who” isn’t a surname. You’ve memorized all eleven doctors. You can explain the differences between Ogrons and Ood, Sontarans and Silurians. You even have convinced yourself you understand River Song’s timeline. But one challenge remains: what are you going to get your Time Lord this holiday season? The good news is Doctor Who is now more popular than ever, which means that you don’t have to traverse all of time and space to find the perfect gift, but it can be overwhelming. The BBC has an intimidating amount of Who merchandise widely available, and your companion has probably received multiple Talking TARDIS cookie jars over the years (seriously, you guys, stop giving me Talking TARDIS cookie jars). To get you started, here are some gift suggestions for the timey wimey wibbly wobbly love of your life. Alons y!
Sonic Screwdriver Remote Control
There are plenty of sonic screwdrivers on the market, but how many of them actually do anything other than annoy your cat? This sonic screwdriver, modeled after the one used by Matt Smith in series 5-6, is also a fully programmable universal remote control with replica lights and sounds. Now your significant other can change the television channel without having to mouth the wee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee
Tom Baker’s Scarf
I’m calling it now: the Fourth Doctor’s twelve foot long scarf is going to be what keffiyehs were four years ago. Get ahead of the trend without spending the next 12 months knitting (unless you are feeling really ambitious, in which case there are patterns all over the internet) by getting your partner one of these replicas of Tom Barker’s greatest fashion accessory. If you live in an urban area with lots of escalators and subway doors, fear not: there is a 6 foot version, too.
Over The Knee socks
If scarves aren’t your thing, you can still pay tribute to the Fourth Doctor with these knee socks, which are also available in TARDIS and Dalek. Unfortunately, no one seems to be making socks with Peter Davison’s signature stalk of celery affixed to them. Try to avoid Praxis gasses.
Copper Cybermen Helmet
There are lots of plastic Cybermen helmets out there, but how many people have one made of actual metal? Thanks to the ambitious Etsy user kyoob, you can get your companion a wearable copper recreation of the universe’s most feared cyborgs. That should make for interesting role playing.
Matt Smith is right: bow ties are cool but they can be an expensive habit. Thankfully The Tie Bar provides gorgeous, quality made bow ties for only $15. Skip the pre-tied and go all in with a self-tie… pre-tied bow ties are unforgivably uncool. If you’re having trouble, this video is the one that made it all make sense for me.
David Tennant Replica Coat
After driving cosplayers nuts for years, the BBC has finally released an officially licensed replica of the coat worn by David Tennant to keep your loved one warm this winter. No one is mistaking your Who-lovin’ significant other for Muppet News Kermit at THIS year’s Comic Con!
Coffee, 12 Jammie Dodgers and a fez
They’ll know what to do.
Ryan Harris hosts Nerd Alert Trivia at the Black Rabbit in Brooklyn every Tuesday at 8pm. His mother is very proud. @ryanharebit
An earlier version of this piece misstated the Doctor’s name as “Dr.” This was an editing mistake, not the writer’s mistake. The Date Report regrets the error.
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