The Boob Tube

MTV’s ‘Are You the One’ Reality Dating Show Pays Out Cash to Soulmates

Pin it

Cast members from MTV's Are You the One

If more than two millennia of scientific practice and discovery have taught us one thing, it is this: Lock yourself in a house with 19 attention-hungry strangers, allow every moment of your waking life to be filmed for national television, and you will find your soulmate. But MTV’s Are You the One? has conceived a clever gimmick to distinguish itself from every other reality dating show that has ever existed. The cast members have been secretly matched in advance by dating experts, and if the predicted pairs find each other, everyone splits a $1 million prize.

The cast shared their biggest dating dealbreakers before tonight’s premiere. Based on our first impressions, we’ve taken the liberty of dividing the contestants into four easy-to-remember groups. (Grammatical errors are presented exactly as spoken. Scout’s honor.)

These People Probably Shouldn’t Be Looking for Love on Television

Wesley – “I’ll never date anybody that has a low self-esteem.”

Kayla – “Dealbreakers for me is someone who’s super-dominant, they have to be the center of attention. And they think that they’re always right.”

Amber – “Ignorance, ignorance, ignorance. That’s just the worst possible characteristic anyone can have.”

Shanley – “I won’t tolerate someone who’s very irrational, because I’m irrational.”

These People Are Oddly Specific

Ethan – “Gotta know how to drive.”

Chris S. – “I’ll never date anybody that has ugly feet.”

Chris T. – “Nike Shox and jeans on an everyday basis, even when you’re going out. That just irks me?”

Jacy – “If you have hairy chest, hairy penis, got to go.”

These People Might Want to Reconsider Their Standards

Ryan – “Has to be… somewhat hygienic.”

Paige – “If you smell, it’s not going to work.”

These People Are, Clearly, Total Keepers

John – “Girls who care about dumb shit. [High-pitched:] ‘Oh my god, did you see Jonas Brothers’ new hair cut?’ Why are you – why? What? No!”

Brittany – “If you suck in bed, that’s a dealbreaker for me. Because I have such a high sex drive, if you’re boring, and you don’t know how to please me, or we don’t have good chemistry, get the fuck out!”

Ashleigh – “Let me go through your phone and find out you’re texting another girl. I’ll call you out in the middle of the night, I don’t care what time it is, and I’ll throw your shit at you until you get the fuck out of my house.”

Watch the rest of the dealbreakers here, and catch Are You the One? on Tuesdays at 11.