Valentine’s Day has come and gone (good riddance). As singles, we are all feeling très vulnerable, wondering where *TF* our long lost love has got to. Here are a few first-date horror stories from our readers that will get you right back to where you need to be.
“I went on a date with a guy who was obsessed with his dog. I am also a dog-person, but he literally had dog hair all over himself. And his hands were the size of a small child.”
“Everytime he would sip his wine, he would smell it – like a real douche bag. We then proceeded to split the bill – his card got declined.”
“It was our first date. His parents were also eating at the same restaurant… we all had to sit together.”
“I was presented with handwritten poems to read out loud, which expressed his pure love for the moon and how he planned to seduce a woman. This was followed by a scroll session featuring topless photos of his 40-year-old uncle, and the comment: ‘How hot is my uncle, good looking genes just run in my family’.”
“My first date with a banker wanker: He let me in on his plan to start his own business, leave his current company, and steal all their contacts. I asked the time at one point and he said ‘oh let me check my Rolex,’ … A real charmer!”
“Before I could knew it, he began to recite nursery rhymes in Shakespearean style, very very loudly. He then proceeded to kiss me with no warning in a crowded bar.” *Cringe*
“He asked me if I wanted to get high and go hunting with him – in Manhattan.”
And there you have it – shake the shit out of those Valentine’s blues …SINGLE LIFE RULES! (And screen your online dates a little finer, ladies).