So You're Single

8 First-Date Horror Stories That Will Make You Feel Better About Single Life

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Valentine’s Day has come and gone (good riddance). As singles, we are all feeling très vulnerable, wondering where *TF* our long lost love has got to. Here are a few first-date horror stories from our readers that will get you right back to where you need to be.

“I went on a date with a guy who was obsessed with his dog. I am also a dog-person, but he literally had dog hair all over himself. And his hands were the size of a small child.”


“Everytime he would sip his wine, he would smell it – like a real douche bag. We then proceeded to split the bill – his card got declined.”


“It was our first date. His parents were also eating at the same restaurant… we all had to sit together.”giphy-2

“I was presented with handwritten poems to read out loud, which expressed his pure love for the moon and how he planned to seduce a woman. This was followed by a scroll session featuring topless photos of his 40-year-old uncle, and the comment: ‘How hot is my uncle, good looking genes just run in my family’.”


“My first date with a banker wanker: He let me in on his plan to start his own business, leave his current company, and steal all their contacts. I asked the time at one point and he said ‘oh let me check my Rolex,’ … A real charmer!”


“Before I could knew it, he began to recite nursery rhymes in Shakespearean style, very very loudly. He then proceeded to kiss me with no warning in a crowded bar.” *Cringe*


“He asked me if I wanted to get high and go hunting with him – in Manhattan.”

And there you have it – shake the shit out of those Valentine’s blues …SINGLE LIFE RULES! (And screen your online dates a little finer, ladies).