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It’s Friday, so for your entertainment, (unless you happen to find your own date), here is a recount of some of the worst first dates in the world via Reddit. Enjoy!

[–]eurogirlintheus

After we were finished with dinner and walking towards the parking lot he then said “Hey, I want to show you my car”.

He seemed quite proud of his new Corvette, and asked if I wanted to go for a ride in it. About a mile and a half into our ride I see flashing lights glaring from behind, and he gets pulled over. Another police car shows up, then another. [The police] come over and arrest him. The officer tells me that he ran the plates on the car and [it has been] stolen. My date was taken to a police station, I have to fill out all my information, give a written report of what I knew about him and such and then they escorted me back to the restaurant where I was still parked.

About two days later I get a message from my date saying “It was all just a big misunderstanding”.

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[–]Jayquack

I got there at 7.30pm and she was bombed. Pants on head [drunk]. She kept trying to unzip my fly at the bar, and swapped back and forth between being horny and crying. She asked me to buy her a drink, and I said she should probably stop because she was already pretty drunk. She took offense to that and tried to get the bouncer to throw me out saying that I hit her.

The bouncer was one of my roommates.

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[–]SuperUnNatural

I agreed to go out with a guy from school after he asked me a few times. He seemed a little strange but we all have our awkward moments, right? He comes to pick me up, and when we get to his car, another girl is in the back seat. He says “This is my friend, she wanted to come along.” I agree feeling awkward but go along with it. We go out to eat, he buys both our meals. We go to a play… he sits by her, and I sit next to her. They hold hands. I ask what’s going on, and it turns out he’s a polygamist looking for a 3rd wife. Oh the joys of growing up in Utah!

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[–]kier00

[A friend] picked up a girl at her place around 8.30pm, it was dark out. He was driving a small pickup truck down a dark, windy road. As he turned a corner he saw a small dark object in the middle of his lane.

As he was about to go over the object, it suddenly goes upright. It was a small animal, maybe a groundhog or something like that. The animal EXPLODES when it is hit, sending blood, bits of fur, and bone all over the front of the vehicle, including the windshield.

She freaks out as he attempts to use the windshield wipers to clean the blood so he can see. The blood smears [all over the windscreen] and the girl begins crying hysterically at the horror. Took him hours to clean the brains and gristle from the grill.

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[–]cocomutts

He took me to the cinema to see “Die Hard 4”. Throughout the entire movie he kept yelling “bam, bam” and “yeah motherfucker!” Afterwards he told me on the walk back home that he knew where there was some old broken-down, unused freight trucks for us to go and have sex in. What a charmer!

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[–]bigangry

She showed up about 20 minutes late, wearing a business pantsuit. Nothing wrong with the pantsuit, mind you, but it wasn’t what I was expecting. She sat down, and we made some small talk, the food eventually came and she started asking me odd things. How long I’ve owned my car, etc. Turns out, she was trying to sell me insurance. And she expected me to pay for the whole meal.

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[–]FlyByDusk

This happened to a distant friend, not really a legitimate date but a one-night-stand.

He was out drinking with friends at a bar and met a random girl there who he went home with. They were both drunk out of their minds but having a great time. [They] hooked up at her place, and drunkenly passed out on her bed together. Then – in the middle of the night – he SHIT HIMSELF. Yes, he was so drunk he shat himself while lying next to this girl he just met and hooked up with in HER bed. In order to save his reputation and handle the situation, he gently handles his poo and packs it in the girls butt to make it look like she’s the one who poo’d herself. Then he sneaks out of her place and leaves her alone in a bed filled with poo… so many questions left unanswered.

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[–]girl-fork

I was watching a movie with a guy i’m interested in, with his parents and siblings. Before we ever kissed he reached for my crotch WITH HIS PARENTS THERE.

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[–]itsbloodlustduh

Went on a blind date somebody else set me up on. 5 minutes into the movie the girl starts giving me the most awkward hand job ever and then kisses me. I tasted tuna and pickles, (and I hate tuna and pickles), so I ended up vomiting all over said girl, in her mouth, everywhere. Worst day ever.

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[–]lizlemon24

There’s a much longer story, but the [short] version is: He made me watch High School Musical 3 in his dorm room and then choked me while we made out.

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[–]foxhole_atheist

I was brought to a slaughterhouse after he found out I’m vegetarian. We sat outside it listening to the animals. I couldn’t go home since he had the car and refused to unlock it.

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