Brangelina Plan An Understated Four-Wedding Wedding

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After holding off for eight years, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting married. So, so married. A wedding for (almost) each child kind of married. The couple, who announced their engagement in April 2012, have just gone public with their wedding plans — four separate celebrations in four different locations.

The International Brangelina Nuptial Tour kicks off in Ayers Rock in Australia, where they’ll have “an Aboriginal style ceremony at sunrise.” Then, they’ll head to either Los Angeles or New Orleans to get “legally wed in an intimate ceremony,” and after that, the pair will take off for the Bahamas, where they’ll get further married. Finally, to make sure that they are as married as possible, they’ll celebrate again at their French estate, Chateau Miravel, with a reception for family and friends. At this point, they will be the most married. They will be more married than any couple has ever been married before (except maybe Heidi Klum and Seal who got remarried every year on their anniversary and we all know how that turned out).

And really, why shouldn’t they? Decisions are the worst. When I am the richest and most beautiful, I will also get married all the places.

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