I don’t mean to knock this article on hipster weddings — all weddings are semi-ridiculous in nature and I am actually obsessed with reading about them for that reason. I’m just jealous that if I do ever get married, I won’t have $15,000 to spend on flowers. Here are the takeaways.
Do Not Buy A Wedding Dress
At least not one made by a wedding designer. The article suggests checking out Mandy Coon, Lars Andersson and Electric Feathers and there are no prices listed for the clothing so I’m pretty sure that means they are on sale?
I’d like to add: Make sure there is an opening for your tattoo!
Wear A Veil
Because Kate Moss did. Make sure it’s VINTAGE flowers or lace and embellished with stones or flowers. We are two paragraphs into the article and it’s the second time I heard the word “dip-dye”. So DIP-DYE.
I’d like to add: What does dip-dye mean?
The Groom’s Suit: “Something Skinny, Of Course.”
Of course, of course.
I’d like to add: Wear a fake moustache or carry around a French Bulldog or Corgie.
For The Engagement Ring, Crass Is Key
Try an Anna Sheffield band that’s engraved with the phrase “Not to be f*cked with.”
I’d like to add: I want one of these and I am not getting married.
Also Dip-Dye The Bridesmaid Dresses
This is going to be really hard because hipsters are fashionable, so your hipster friends will care, like doubly, about what they’re wearing. So pick something that they like enough to wear again. Surprise alert: “This is another place where dip-dying comes in handy.”
I’d like to add: Only if they are hipsters. If not who gives a shit.
Those Flowers That Look Like You Pulled Them Out Of Someone’s Side Yard Are Gonna Cost You
“Saipua in Red Hook is good if you have $15,000 or more to spend.”
I’d like to add: Tie some vintage buttons in there or something, throw some snazz in it!
Hope One Of Your Friends Is A Talented Artist
Because you are going to need them to make the invitations. “That applies to pretty much everything on this list. If you’re that much of a hipster, you probably know plenty of people with wedding-applicable creative skills.”
I’d like to add: Agreed. If you find yourself unable to find a friend to make your invites, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you’re not a hipster.
PlaySomethingGood has recently been named the official hipster wedding couple-DJs, so you’d better call them now. They’re to be booked in no time.
I’d like to add: I’m sorry but I don’t care they had better play The Chicken Dance.
Location, Location, Location (Or Whatever)
“Go to City Hall in the morning and have a rager at night.”
I’d like to add: This is actually a good tip for everyone.
“This one’s a no-brainer: The Smile recently catered its first wedding. Book them now, then tell people you hired them “before everyone was doing it.” And remember, if everyone starts doing it, do something else. That tip actually applies to all the tips above.
I’d like to add: My Grandmother would cry. She’d be like, “where is the vat of cavetelli that the church ladies made in the basement of St. Anthony’s?”