Being Single

This Is NOT Why You’re Single

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There are lots of reasons why a person might be single (aside from the obvious “you haven’t met the right — or at least next — person yet”) — but some of the more common excuses for being alone just aren’t that accurate. Here are four things that have nothing to do with why you’re single — no matter what your friends might say.

1. Because “it’ll happen when you’re not looking.”

Love can happen both suddenly and unexpectedly, sure, but it doesn’t only happen that way. As Joe Berkowitz wrote in “My Superpower Is Being Alone Forever,”:

“People always swear you only meet someone when you least expect it, which is not entirely true because you least expect it when you’re dead asleep and, personally, I’ve never been rustled out of bed by a stranger who became my new girlfriend.”

Maybe love will surprise you, but in the meantime, don’t leave it entirely up to fate. Continue to put yourself in positions and situations where you’re more likely to meet someone.

2. Because You Need To Lose 5 Pounds

We’re not going to lie and say that weight doesn’t play a role in attraction: not everyone likes bigger bodies, just like not everyone likes super skinny ones. But while weight may be a factor in who you attract, it definitely won’t, can’t, prevent you from attracting anyone at all.

Related: Vocab Lessons: What Did Kristie Alley Mean By She “Didn’t Want to Have ‘Fat Sex'”?

And also, realize that no one, not even a significant other, will pay as much attention to your body as you do. Anything under 10 pounds is just not that noticeable — certainly not as noticeable as your personality, sense of humor, and smile. If you’re single, don’t trick yourself into thinking that weight is really the issue here.

Related: 5 Imperfections Men Find Totally Hot

3. Because You’re Too Picky

You’re looking for someone with whom you will be spending a significant portion of your life — you’re allowed to be discerning. If you settle, you’ll just find yourself in an unhappy relationship, and you’ll be single again faster. Hold out for the right person, but do make sure you’re being picky about the important things.

Related: Online Dating 101: Dealing With Your Dealbreakers

4. Because Of Your Weird Hobbies

Renaissance Faires, taxidermy, LARP-ing — whatever your quirky hobby is, it is not really why you’re single. A hobby is a part of your personality, but not the only part, and the right person won’t let one hobby or interest dissuade them. And if your quirky hobby really is a huge and defining part of your life, then you might meet your perfect match because of your interest, and not in spite of it! Somewhere out there, is a person who speaks Elvish, just like you…

Related: This Is Why I’m Single: Renaissance Faire Edition

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